Lately I’ve been doing the Tumblr thing instead of posting here. Check it out. I’ll be doing that for now…

This site was becoming a personal site, and I didn’t really want to have a personal site with such a douchey name so I thought I’d stop while I could. If I like Tumblr, and I do so far, I might build a personal site there.

Thanks for stopping by!

JR

My anxiety level was out of control during that game.  I feel like I was in labour or something.

A few people commented on my post from a few days ago about the Canada-U.S. hockey rivalry (In person. They neglected to comment on the blog post itself…).  Anyway, in short, I said that the Americans didn’t really pay much attention to what was dramatically touted in Canada as a huge hockey war.  I didn’t mean we shouldn’t get really into a game and feel great national pride and so on; I was suggesting ever so delicately that we should take into account that our arch nemesis, for the most part, didn’t even know that they were embroiled in all out war.

In any case, I’d like to take that back.  Many Americans, and NBC, seemed to pick up on what an historic match-up tonight’s game was.  The game was huge; that was obvious on either side.  But, really, it doesn’t matter.

This was such a great moment and there couldn’t have been a better story to this win. There’s a lot of Canadian national pride happening right now, a big sense of community, and it’s a great feeling.  And it’s definitely not because Americans gave a shit about this game.

Photo: Globe and Mail

…but there’s such a thing as a Star Wars Christmas Special.  And it was horrible.

In this special “Christmas” is “Life Day”, there are all kinds of extra creepy wookies, Mark Hammil’s face looks weird, Leia is drunk, and…oh yes…the guest stars…

Dianne Carrol, Art Carney, Jefferson Starship, Harvey Korman…

But the highlight of this disaster is Bea Arthur singing at the Mos Eisley Cantina!!!

Sound hilarious…but isn’t.  Click here if you want to hate yourself after.

I was a guest today on a sweet podcast called the Poor Choices Show…hosted by Mark Colomb and Matt Owens.

you can listen at this link or on itunes  http://poorchoicesshow.podbean.com

One of the things we brought up is the absolutely insane film Tip Toes.  This film went direct-to-video, and you’ll understand why after watching this clip. And, yes…it’s a real movie.  And no…don’t rent it.

Hi all…it’s Chris Bragg, new contributer to this fantastic blog.

Who’s me life story short version?  Okay.

I grew up on a farm in East Central Illinois.  I went to a tiny school.  I went to the U of I in Champaign and got a nearly worthless degree in Music Composition.  I was in a crappy rock band that never played anywhere.  I worked at GKC Theaters for 8 years, and also WDWS radio for 8 years.  (Some of those years cross over, I’m not 50 yet.)  A friend of mine died when he was 25, so I thought I should do more stuff I like to do, so I started taking classes at Second City WHILE FOOLISHLY STILL LIVING IN CHAMPAIGN!  I graduated the Second City Training Center’s Beginning, Acting, Writing, and Conservatory programs all while driving back and forth.  I helped start sketch group Grandma June’s Sewing Circle.  I moved to Chicago with little-to-no-job.  I got a job.  I took iO improv program.  I got put on Harold team Hunter Family Crest.  I got fired from that job and was unemployed/temping for the next 20 months.  Hunter Family Crest got cut.  Grandma June’s stopped doing shows.  Low spot. 

Now, life all new, feeling good.  Yes, I am broke.  But…I helped start sketch group Adults and absolutely love doing that.  I am on excellent Playground team Sam Hill.  I am on crazy awesome Gypsy F**k Fight.  Recently was in the soon-to-be-released full length film Welcome to Gentle Waters.  Hired full-time at Standard Parking doing AP stuff, not bad.

I blog…

Happy Labor Day.  Hope you had a really fantastic Labor Day and that you did all the incredibly cool things you said you were going to do with  just one extra day in your weekend.

This weekend I played a couple improv sets, one good, one bad…  Really bad, actually.  But that happens sometimes.  Well, ones this bad don’t happen too often, but they happen.  Anyway, it wasn’t the best (it was really bad), but the audience was great and still laughed quite a bit—for some reason.  It’s weird to be doing something on stage, get laughs, and then be thinking to yourself, “If I wasn’t me, and I was watching me right now, I would definitely not be laughing.”

On another note, after a lot of thought and agonizing, I decided a week or so ago that I’ll be moving from Chicago to Toronto.  My time in Chicago has been great.  It’ll be really hard to leave this city and many people in it.  But, as a Canadian in the States, at least at this point, visa-related issues have become increasingly difficult to deal with in a variety of ways.  And, going back to the homeland, at least for now, I should be better able to pursue my career.  Additionally, Toronto has a great comedy scene and I’m excited to get started up there.  Anyway, it’s a big move and I thought I’d just write briefly about that.  It feels kind of weird to broadcast that kind of information, but I guess when you’re blogging you’re supposed to blog about blig things like that that are happening blin your blife.  So, there’s that…

So, as I’m wrapping things up in Chicago I’ll have some cool stuff to share with you.  This weekend I had a meeting about developing videos for the Annoyance Theatre, so I think some good material is going to come out of that.  I’ll also be working with a few other folks to develop some videos… Anyway, it should be a busy couple months, wrappin’ up, packin’ up, and I’ll post good stuff. I will also post stupid shit I find online.

Hello!

First of all, I owe seven people an apology.  To readers of this blog, I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written or posted anything.  This month has been a bit crazy for me and I have some big things coming my way.  I’ll write soon about what these “things coming my way” may be… For now I’ll just be a jerk and not say anything.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for reading our little blog site as it—hopefully—grows and, again, I apologize for my absence.  For now, though, I’ll quickly tell you what’s currently on my mind:

1. The shirt I’m wearing is a bit starchy.  I don’t think I asked for it to be starched.  In fact, I’m certain I asked for it not to be starched.  I’ve never starched.  I don’t know what goes into that process at the dry cleaners and I don’t really want to know.  I often think about things that I need to try in life, things that I should experience.  Getting my shirts “starched” at the dry cleaners isn’t one of them.  Anyway, if this shirt is actually starched, if starch (again, whatever that process involves—is it like corn starch in food?) played a part in the washing of this shirt that I’m wearing, then it makes me never want to try it again.

It goes without saying that I’m going to go completely ballistic on that dry cleaner when I next pay a visit. Unacceptable.

2. Twitter was down for about ten minutes just a few moments again.  I never thought I’d give a shit, but I actually did.  In those ten minutes, sitting here in my office,  I felt in need of links, some half-thought-out bits, some quick connections to other people however tenuous and silly.

3. When I eat a Cliff bar, or any of those kinds of energy bar-type things, I have absolutely no idea what I’m consuming.  More than when I eat anything else, I really have no clue as to what ingredients I’m ingesting. It doesn’t resemble anything at all.

I think it’s soy. Or something like that.

4. I’m currently working on a little show at The Annoyance Theatre here in Chicago.  It’s funny, the cast is great, and it’s really been my first experience writing/directing that kind of show.  At that comedy theatre, like some others in Chicago, we often write through improvisation, and it was  a great experience to be in the pilot seat during that process. Anyway, last night after the show, a friend of a friend in the show told us at the bar that watching it made him want to write something himself, something he hadn’t done before (he’s a film/TV music guy).  I was just thinking about that again now.  That that kind of compliment has to be one of the greatest. Because, for me, when I watch something that I think is actually good and funny—it’s then I want to do something myself.

5. Okay, that sounded self-congratulatory, and it is a little, but that’s not what I mean. First, of course, I only played a part in the thing anyway, along with everyone else in the show. But, also, I just mean to say it’s nice to hear that kind of thing because it provides you with a little affirmation that you’re doing work that actually is good… So, yeah, I guess that it is self-congratulatory. Whatever, alright?

Oh, hi there, and welcome.  As I wrote in my first post a few months back (before this site was actually open for all to see), I’m happy to get this blog site up.  Here, myself and a few of my friends, other writers and performers, will keep you posted on what we’re up to, and, as I said before, some ideas/thoughts/rants on this site may lead to material elsewhere on the web, on stage, in videos etc… We’ll see what happens.

I’d also like to give a big thanks and shout-out to Mr. Peter Flaschner, who gave this site a really cool look.

That’s all for now, but thanks for visiting and come back soon.

jr

Dear freecreditreport.com guy,

I was going to cast you for a small part in this picture I’m working on right now. I also considered forwarding your information to a friend of mine casting other national commercials.  However, that’s when I remembered that I find you so horribly fucking annoying.  Upon remembering how incredibly annoying you and your commercials are I also remembered a personal commitment I made to myself never to cast you in anything.  I cannot stress enough how painfully annoying I find your commercials.  When your commercials come on, I have to put my TV on mute.  Scratch that.  That’s what I used to do.  Now, when one of your commercials comes on—because there’s so many different versions of that fucking song—I have to turn off the TV.  I keep the TV off for longer than thirty seconds, knowing that your commercials are only thirty seconds, lest I catch even a bit of you singing some shitty song about why I should go and sign up for freecreditreport.com and, probably, get fucked by some assholes’ money-making scheme.  One time I yelled at someone on the subway, realizing after that he made me furious just because he looked kind of like you.

Anyway, thanks very much.  We’ll call you.  Oh. No—I just remembered.  I again forgot that I hate you.  No, we won’t call you.  I’ll never call you.  I hate you.

Sincerely,

Ron Plinkman, CSA

The Air Blade really doesn't fuck around

I think I’m really good at drying my hands.  

Sound stupid?  Well, it’s true, okay?  

I see other people spend a bunch of time at hand dryers and, poor saps, their hands are still not dry.  They have to wipe their wet hands on their jeans. (They might also be just leaving too soon because they’ve noticed me waiting, watching their hand-drying with a pad and pen.)  Anyway, I think I’m pretty good.  It’s all about the quick, light rubbing of hands together.

Anyway, for a while I’ve been partial to the XLerator hand dryer.  It’s pretty impressive.  It’s bizarrely loud and forceful.  If you’ve ever used one, you know that this hand dryer doesn’t fuck around.  Whenever I come back to the table at a restaurant where they have these things, I always tell people, “Hey, they got an XLerator in there.” (That’s usually met by uncomfortable silence.)

Well, folks, the XLerator has met its match.  Have you seen these dryers where you stick your hands inside and slowly bring them out?  There’re jets of air that remove the water off your hands when you take them out.  What. The. Hell.  This is, like, the future of public bathroom technology.  This is the Obama of hand-dryers.  (Yes, that’s right.  That made absolutely no sense.)  Have you seen these?  I think there’s a few different companies making these things.  In any case, when I stick my hands into these things, I feel like I’m sticking my hands into the future of public bathrooms.