From the monthly archives:

March 2009

An open letter to the freecreditreport.com guy from a casting agent

by Jordan RothMarch 23, 2009

Dear freecreditreport.com guy,
I was going to cast you for a small part in this picture I’m working on right now. I also considered forwarding your information to a friend of mine casting other national commercials.  However, that’s when I remembered that I find you so horribly fucking annoying.  Upon remembering how incredibly annoying you and [...]

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XLerator, you ain’t no thang

by Jordan RothMarch 22, 2009

I think I’m really good at drying my hands.  
Sound stupid?  Well, it’s true, okay?  
I see other people spend a bunch of time at hand dryers and, poor saps, their hands are still not dry.  They have to wipe their wet hands on their jeans. (They might also be just leaving too soon because [...]

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Why are we stupid?

by Jordan RothMarch 17, 2009

What goes into an internet phenomenon? Is this the beginning of another really stupid bunch of videos that tons of people watch? Is there some sort of dancing Spiderman program out there now (notice all the related videos)? Why do I care?

Maybe it is kind of funny, though.
Related story: Did you hear that Spiderman will [...]

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The Little Things In Pretend Life

by Jordan RothMarch 13, 2009

The past couple days I shot a small bit part in an independent movie.  
A really, really small bit part.  
To call it a bit part is being very generous.
Anyway, they brought in a few improvisers to shoot some scenes.  Basically, they’re just going to use snippets from our improv work.  We could do any high [...]

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This is a post

by ThomasMarch 12, 2009

This is Thomas writing a post.
I don’t have a penis.
Ha ha.
I do.  It’s just small.

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Bloggin’

by Jordan RothMarch 10, 2009

So, it occurs to me that there are things I need to include in posts if I’m going to start blogging and become a part of the blogosphere.  Here’s just a few items for now:
First, some hot celebrity news:  Did you hear that that Tiffany Amber Thiessen is in the new Batman movie?! She’s playing the Riddler.
Next: Hey, [...]

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Dear 2012, Don’t be the end of the world. Sincerely, Jordan

by Jordan RothMarch 8, 2009

So, yes, I do have some apocalyptic-type fears.  No, they’re not generally related to 2012. No, I’m not a crazy lunatic.
I swear.
I stress a little. Just sometimes.  And I, like a few other people, am kind of tweaking out about our world situation right now.  I won’t go into detail, because I don’t feel like spilling [...]

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Kraft Bagel-fuls: aw-ful

by Jordan RothMarch 7, 2009
Thumbnail image for Kraft Bagel-fuls: aw-ful

I can’t believe this. Have you seen these ads?  Did you see this coming?  I didn’t.
Here’s the scoop, kids:  Kraft recently unveiled their new Bagel-fuls, rolls of frozen “bagels” wrapped around Philadelphia cream cheese, ready to go in the microwave.  Kraft says it’s “a golden bagel and Philadelphia cream cheese rolled into one.” They also say, “Bagel-fuls are a simple breakfast that [...]

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People watchin’!

by Jordan RothMarch 6, 2009

If you say you like “people watching,” then that is okay and people think that’s normal.  But if you say you like to “watch people” when they “don’t know you’re watching,” then suddenly you’re a weirdo.

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I’m eight years old

by Jordan RothMarch 5, 2009

Here are some fart thoughts on farts.
Lately I’ve been doing some thinking about farts and, actually, I think I have, like, five minutes of material all about farts–all very stupid.  It’s a new, hip brand of comedy called “observational fart comedy”.
(You may also note a recent tweet of mine, very cleverly commenting on how sweaty [...]

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